AWEFULL

“In life as in dance: Grace glides on blistered feet”

I’ve got a pair of elegant stilettos a few months back,
but they just let me fall.
It was a disgrace to slip, it took me an ounce of energy to get up.
They harm not just my feet.. but also a portion of my legs.
And so I was back to walking barefoot…
a bit gloomy but it was an awesome journey.
Walking bare made my feet more robust than ever.
Sounds absurd, but it did.
I’ve got a lot of wounds, a couple of slash but they’re all worth it.
My feet felt good afterward, even exfoliated and now they kinda look pristine.
Ironic perhaps, but those lesions made them unsoiled.
While wandering uncovered I saw a pair of flip-flops,
a little bit pricey compared to my old pair of slippers…
but they caught my eye in an instant.
I liked their distinctiveness, I liked it that they’re one of a kind.
My feet looked good wearing them, all the more whenever I am at the beach..
a place where I can truly relax, my favorite place of contemplation..
I love the idea of bringing them to parties yet they won’t clash with my outfit.
I feel comfortable, it feels cozy..
I love how they let me be carefree.
There’s just one thing that makes me wonder about…
I haven’t bring them to cocktails as I feel like they would look inappropriate..
but who knows.. soon I might start a trend.
I just hope nobody would oppose…
after all, I am genuinely in BLISS.

——————
Related Stories:

From Slippers to Shoes to Barefoot
Stilettos

I threw away my slippers. Even the old fashioned pair of shoes that I loved for 3 years.
I had a time well-spent with them, I must admit.
They looked good on me, but it was time for me to let go.
Because they no longer satisfy my yearning, and my needs have changed.
Besides, my feet had a taste of extreme pain when they both turned old.
When I disposed them, I learned to survive with nothing but my bare feet.
Even how lonely and painful my feet were, never did I long to reclaim my old slippers and my old fashioned pair of shoes.
Why would I do that? It was never my mantra to further devastate something that I ruined before.
It would be a selfish act. My conscience shall eat me alive.
And so I went on with my journey without something that would protect my feet.
It hurts so much that everytime I step on something sharp, I’d cry and tell myself that this is the start of fighting alone.
I still have a lot to pass by. So much more to step on. A couple of danger zones to surpass.
I already prepared myself for that.
Time passed by and my journey to something has come to an end.
Even if it meant bruises and scratches, I am thankful my bare feet are still alive.. and kickin..
And I am grateful, I have come face to face with my destination now — A NEW LIFE.
Recently, I got myself a new pair of shoes for my feet. A nice pair of stilettos.
I fell in love with that pair of stilettos the moment I laid my eyes on them.
But I was hesitant at first if they would look good on me.
Besides, when I first saw them I was still wearing my favorite old fashioned pair of shoes.
I am just a simple girl with simple wants and needs. I don’t need something flashy, not even a glittery pair of shoes.
But my friends insisted I’d give it a try. Besides, there is no harm in trying.
After all, I am known to be a brave soul. Someone who’d take risks without looking beyond the horizon.
And so, I left the stilettos first at the store.
It was a dilemma for me if I’d stay and buy, or go and leave them there.
After quite some time, when my old fashioned pair of shoes had worn out and brought me in pain, I thought about those nice stilettos I left at the store.
On second thought, I didn’t return until I had a taste of walking barefoot.
When I came back to the store, the stilettos that I liked were still there. Waiting for me to pick them up.
I tried them on. But it was hard for me as I am not used to wearing heels.
Still, I bought them. I might try changing how I look from now on.
I looked good on you, but I must admit I was not comfortable.
Until now I am still on the period of walking uncomfortably. One wrong move and I’m out of balance. I might break my ankle and get hurt once more.
I care less, though. I’d get used to it anyway.
For now, I want to wear you often.
Day by day I get the benefits of wearing you.
You continuously teach me how to walk gracefully. Walk slowly and carefully.
You don’t force me to move fast as you know I don’t want to get hurt again.
And I love every minute that I am wearing you.
You make me feel good about myself.
You make me stand out from the rest.
Because I now know better what to do.
Walk with poise. Walk with care.
I might break the heels anytime. You might leave me early if it shall happen.
But I don’t care. All I want is today.
I’m loving every minute of being with you.
Thank you for the protection that my feet get from you.
Even if I don’t know how long it will last, or how far we can go.
Thank you for staying at the store.

Note: Please click HERE for the prologue.

I love playing fast,
the same way that I want to fulfill my goals real fast
I know it ain’t right; they say I should take things one step at a time

But who are they to blame me…
I’ve been stuck at the bench for such a long time since my last game

Now that my time to play has arrived, I want to give my best
It distressed me how I was always defeated back then,
I never even had a considerable point

Even if I knew how to give the best service,
that didn’t mean the cock would return smoothly
Most of the time they would smash it, and goes directly to my surface

It would hurt, like I’ve been hit by the racket
‘Coz even how small, or what the instrument was.. the hurt would still be the same

Now that I am fully renewed, I am thrilled to take a chance again
to play the game, to give the best service like what I used to do
I’d take the risks.. I’d embrace all the hurt..
I’d smash the cock and give my all
I’d run fast but carefully.. I’d play with precision
so as not to injure my feet and stay put on the court
for me to play longer
every minute, every hour, every single day of my life
until the last drop of sweat,
until the last amount of energy,
until my shoes lose their soles
and the power of my racket wears off

In the end, I know everything will be worth the pain….
I would learn to love every single game that I play – may I win or lose. 

maganda ang paru-paro…
marami ang makulay, ngunit ang ilang ay hindi pinagpala,
katulad mong namumukod tangi sa aking paningin dahil sa taglay mong anyo..
nasaan na ang iyong kulay?
bakit ang dilim ng iyong anyo?
kuntento ka na bang dumidikit na lamang sa mga makukulay na bagay sa paligid mo?
pero sabagay, sabi nga nila ay hindi sa panlabas na anyo nakikita ang kagandahan.
kahit ikaw ay maitim at walang gandang natatangi, ikaw ay ibang-iba sa kanilang lahat…
sapagkat ikaw malayang lumilipad habang sila ay nakahinto.
subalit sa kasamaang-palad ikaw ay nakakulong…
lumipad ka man ng lumipad, ikaw ay bilanggo ng sariling mundo mo…
kinimkim na pati ang emosyon mo..
at pagod na pagod ka na sa kakalipad alam ko..
pero bakit parang hanggang dito ka na lang?
kasalanan mo ba kung ikaw ay makulong?
hindi ikaw ang may gawa niyan kundi ang mga tao sa paligid mo..
sila ay walang pusong piliti inaangkin ang iyong pagkatao..
may panahon pa, ikaw ay may magagawa…
tibayan mo lang ang loob mo,
lawakan ang mundo mo,
subukan mong tumakas..
at harapin ang totoong mundo sa labas ng iyong maliit na lungga…

Just when I thought I’m going to kick the bucket

And my heart would eventually turn into stone,

You quickly came into sight and threw a spell

That my soul be back in my frame.

I was alone and miserable hiding in the dark

Your light shone and brought me back to my senses

I thought it was just a dream.

You seemed to be just part of my dream.

But why do I feel you somehow?

Why do I hear your voice when I’m half awake?

Could you be for real?

Or am I just living in my own wildest dreams?

As nobody has taken me for real — my forever nightmare.

I don’t look forward to your love

I might even get scared

Love is too strong to even pop in my head

It’s enough that you care

And forever stay in my majestic dreams.

But if I could take you out of my dreams I would

And bring you to my world of veracity

But then again you are just a fantasy

A wonderful imagination that pulls me away from pain

The pain that reality has brought me.

Now I am starting to feel that inexplicable emotion again

I am scared I might fall too hard

Every waking moment is a battle to endure

I am fearful I might never see you again when I go to sleep.

I never know where this would lead me

Nor when would I ever feel the tangible you

Am I breaking my promise of not waiting to be loved by you?

Or am I just taking risks for I might never fall asleep again?

It’s the only moment I know I love and feel loved

So please let me sleep for a while now

And feel your warmth embrace while I am at ease.

Her ears are famished,

weary hanging around.

They are getting drowsy,

waiting for something they aimed to hear…

to soothe her soul,

to pacify her yearning,

to paint a touch of pink

around her world of gloom

Just three words

from those gorgeous lips

owned by someone…

her eyes are yet to see.

Someone who’s brave enough

to destroy the walls she had built around her heart,

to eliminate the fears in her core,

to bring her back to her senses,

to lift her spirits up,

to reinstate the faith that was gone.

Just three words…

three mind-blowing words…

one perfect line…

And everything will be alright.

The sky was dark and there I was,
Feeling so cold. Feeling so numb.
And then raindrops started to fall.
I welcomed the drizzle. Embraced the chill.
After a while I felt so weak. I got colds.
Virus hit me. Vigorously struck me.
I was restless I should have walked toward the house.
But no, I enjoyed playing under the rain and getting sick.
Nevertheless, it only happens once in a while.
I thought maybe it will improve my immunity.
Fortunately, it did. I am stronger than ever.
I don’t easily get a fever whenever I play in the rain.
Or maybe I was just wishful I could see something remarkable…
after the rain stops to fall.
They say I may find something beautiful after the rain.
It must be the rainbow, as what they call it.
Then at the end of the rainbow I may find again..
something that’s full of treasure.
Pandora’s box, grandma told me.
I was keyed up I couldn’t wait for the rain to stop.
I wanted to shout up high where someone could hear me pray
for the rain to stop quickly
So I could see that beautiful rainbow…
Walk through that colorful path…
Take a risk again in striding…
I couldn’t wait to see whether they’re right or wrong.
Could there be a treasure in that box?
Or another crap that might hurt me again?
I wouldn’t know it if I won’t try.
After all, there’s really no harm in trying…
I might get screwed up again.
Or bring home the treasure.
Either way, I know I will be strong enough to face my fate.