AWEFULL

Finally, after 10 loooong years, my lungs are taking a break from smoke.. and so do my teeth from nicotine. Two weeks ago, due to chronic flu and sore throat, I stopped from smoking. (something that I am unaccustomed to do since I am a chain smoker) I thought it was just going to last for a day or two. Honestly, I couldn’t stand not having a nicotine break at work, all the more everytime we’re having a hard time meeting our targets. I always feel like puffing alleviates the stress and pressure that I feel.

I’ve been smoking since I was 15 or barely 16. I started smoking regularly when I got into college (I entered the university when I was 15) and from then on I’ve been smoking to death. I can finish a pack or two in a day. Even more whenever I’m out on a gimmick and drinking alcohol. Beer-yosi for me is like kape-pandesal.

But since I’ve been sickly lately, I tried my best not to smoke in a day or two. Surprisingly, it’s been two weeks and I haven’t been craving for a cigarette. Not going out at night lately must have been a big help in quitting. However, it’s been tough, really hard to ignore friends offering sticks (they’ve been teasing and persuading me! grrrr…)

I like it when something’s inside my mouth, may it be a cigarette or a bottle of beer but since I already quit smoking, I ended up —— foodtripping, errr… showing signs of GLUTTONY. And now I’m getting big (goodluck, my beach trips are fast approaching and I couldn’t wear my bikinis anymore) Oh well, these sentences are already off topic. Haha! What I’ve been trying to say is that — I’m happy coz I finally resist temptation. I hope it’ll last a lifetime.

Adios, Marlboro. Thanks for being with me, for richer or poorer… in sickness and in health.. but I won’t be with you ’til death.

Mom and Dad already left a while ago, they’ll be back in Japan where they lived for a long time plus a couple of years in the US, leaving me with responsibilities of a mother and a sister. I’m gonna take care of the household (like what I did when I was in High School). I’m going to do the budgeting; take care of the bills, my sibling’s allowances, our “scholar’s” school expenses, our “foundation’s” needs and a lot more. It’s quite against my will to do these but if ever I abandon our house, nobody will take care of it. My older sister is already married, my younger brother is based in Pampanga where he is studying (also, he isn’t responsible enough to take care of everything)

I hate it everytime our relatives contact us/me with much demands related to their needs (and wants, as well).. Haaaaayyyy.. typical Pinoy. Sometimes I hate how my parents can be so kind and generous, to the point of being abused. I want people to understand now that it’s no longer my responsibility to attend to their needs as I also have a life of my own. Also, isn’t it sad that people get married, raise kids even when they are not financially stable? Even an nth degree relative can be so demanding.. and it always ruins my day everytime I think of it. It’s not our responsibility to feed and send their children to school. I am still single and don’t want to get married yet because I feel that I am not ready for responsibilities like these, but how come I am taking over my Mom’s tasks?

I will just look at it as a blessing. That God wants me to get used to it to prepare me for my future.

I remember when I acquired this domain and had my first few posts, I was heartbroken and on the process of healing. The initial color was black. Apart from being my favorite base color of a site, it also depicted what I was feeling then – dead beat and bruised all over, up to the innermost core of my heart. After a few months, I had my page transformed into a bluish one. Again, it represented my emotions – not so hurt anymore yet feeling blue.. longing for something/someone to sprinkle a touch of pink in my life.

Now I think I’m past that bluish phase of my life. But don’t get me wrong, I won’t make this a pinkish site. That is soooo gay for me. By the way, my favorite color is green. I’m still thinking if I’ll change it to green coz you might think I’m green minded these days. Hahaha! Kidding aside, I’m still thinking/looking for a nice theme to complement my being in high spirits right now.

Even before I decided to renew this blog, I had a little poll in my Facebook account whether to renew or not. “To renew” won.

Just a background: At first, the goal of this blog was for me to “breathe”, and so, when I got over those awful days I initially thought of not renewing it. I almost purchased another domain but GB, a dear friend of mine, advised me to keep this for me to see the significant changes in my life from being a pessimistic-skeptic-cranky Miss Hopeless Romantic to being a cheerful Woman in Love that I am now.

Okay, too much intro. I just want to let you know that Yay! it’s the first anniversary of this url (December 14) Posts before that date were actually transferred from my old blogs.

Happy 1st Birthday to this blog and I hope I can update often… like the way I used to when I still have a lot of time.

Thank you, dear friends, for patiently reading each post. I love it!

——————-
PS: I almost forgot to pay for the renewal. Nyahahha!

WARNING: This post is kinda long, so if you do not enjoy reading novels, better change your url right now.

If there’s one thing that will make Friendster “better” than Facebook, I guess that would be the “Testimonials” or those lies lines that your friends write on your account. They can be praises, censure (yes, I do that.. me and my BIG mouth ) and oftentimes, conversation. I just didn’t get it why people talk/chat via Friendster when in fact they can just chat via YM — until I tried Facebook and realized that “chatting on wall” really is rampant.

Anyhoo, while “cleaning up” my social networking accounts (yeah yeah I’m a certified SNS addict), I got the chance to explore my Friendster account. I haven’t been logging in anymore until today. Actually, I had 2 accounts before (the 2nd one was created because I can no longer accept friend requests in my 1st account because an account can only hold up to 500 contacts, and yeah — I have more than 500 “friends” (To think that I do not accept people that I don’t even know — maybe I am really Miss Congeniality )

While browsing my account, I couldn’t help but smile because I got to read again my friends’ testimonials. I don’t know if they only said good things about me just so they will receive positive remarks in return, or they were just telling the truth about me being kind, byutipooooool (walang kokontra, babasagin ko muka ng kumontra.. haha jooooke! )

Since I cannot contain my emotions on how good I am (well, at least in my friends’ point of view ), I’m gonna share with you my favorite comments. Hold your breath my dear friends, and don’t dare object… or else, di ko kayo bati

I just picked some out of my 400++ testimonials.. and here they go (verbatim + my comment)..

i love anna in a funny, eccentric way, look at what she did, she just made my wild dream come true! pakyu ka dowd. pakyu!
– Amae, my bespren (I think I made an FHM cover out of her gorgeous pic..wahahaha!)

haaay si anne, pinakamayaman na RS sa IPI!! kahit di na magwork, mabubuhay heheh.. ito nman, kung mkatawag na booba, parang xa hindi waaahaha!!
– Nonie, former officemate (Di ako mayaman, nagkataon lang na ako ang pinakamadami     lagi pagkain sa office at pinakamalakas kumain kaya kala nila mapera ako )

d coolest laitera I know..! hehe pero love ko to..gift ko sa x’mas ah. Hehehe
– Marigay, my brother’s girlfriend (Opo, laitera ako.. kaya wag ka na magtangka magtanong sa akin at sasabihin ko ang totoo )

Hi Anna! How are you? You’re getting prettier and prettier, huh? Got to let me know all your beauty secrets, ahihi… Take care a lot! Love, Joey
– Joey, History 1 classmate and my college crush (babae po sya.. hahaha! at kinilig ako sa testi nya na to )

s lhat ng common friends ng mga mttaas n tao s brother e2 din yata ang common testifier and comment s bwas isa.,kla mo conio flip din nman.,hahaha.,pero d cya sumuko s kkulitan aba akalain mong nkuhang mkipag sbayan s pnka mataas n rango (ehem..) hehehe…kkmis kng asarin ung tipong sskit ulo mo tpos ttaas n lng kilay…hehehe
– Mitch, myembro ng kulto ng dating account na nihahandle ko (Actually, di ko din alam ibig nya sabihin dito sa comment nya na to.. dumugo din ilong ko e wahahha!)

Anna Cecilia Mangilin… Anna Ganda daw cia…
Mabaet..
Mataray…
Mayaman….
Malaki ang kayamanan….(inggit ako share mo nmn)
cia c anna ang punong puno ng M…..
ingats palage…
– Mel, former colleague (sya din panay M = magmaganda ng magmaganda lagi alam gawin.. hehehe.. peace! Shet, ganda ng name ko noh? Hinukay pa sa baul yan ng nanay at tatay ko)

hay naku..kakaiba tong girl na 2.alm nyu b na very frendly at kalog 2ng si ms ana,hindi cia mahirap pakisamahan,nung first time kong na meet tong gurl na 2 eh cimpre nagulat,kc ang cute nya pala.cia kc ung dahilan kung baket me nakapasuk sa brother that time.pinahirapan p nga nya me mag english nun,un pala ok lang khit english kamote….hehehe…thank u thnk u sa pag invite saken sa frendster…..more power to u at sana ganyan k palagi,dont change para mas dumami p ang frend mo.mwahhhhhhhhhh
– Darnel, isa pa tong myembro ng kulto ng nosebleed tulad ni Mitch

musta na ang aking good girl na classmate (back in elbi) na hindi rin mahilig mag-absent na tulad ko! bwahahaha! bruha ka, ikaw ang walang kupas. sexy at maganda pa rin…
–Carmi, SocSci classmates (Wag kayo maniwala sa kanya, di ako marunong mag-absent pramis )

Si Anna?! pinakapretty sa Sosci II class namin. Mukhang masungit kasi kahit chinita matalim tumingin pag hindi ka nya feel. Walang pretensions sa katawan. Magaan kasama kasi totoong tao. Sarap ng feeling nang kahit ilang taon ko na sya ‘di nakasama, hindi pa rin sya nakakalimot. I remember her inlove pa sya nun kay “?”. Iba rin kasi ‘to magmahal e. Pretty inside and out.
– She, SocSci 2 classmate (Shet eto ang malufet mambola.. sinabi ko din sa kanya ang ganda at seksi nya, para quits diba? )

i’m going to tell you one thing about this girl and you better reel this in: you wouldn’t want to get in her bad side. maybe because she stands up for herself and her friends and she refuses to tolerate any form of patronizing or stupidity. maybe she delivers her words like a streetboy’s razor. maybe she’s just tall people, and her good looks is almost integral to her even professors get a tad cautious. regardless, I am grateful to have Anna as one of the very few Elbi people who found her way to being my friend. astig ka..kudos ganda!
– Twyla, college classmate (Eto naman isang to masyado siryus)

there are times when i would sit and stare and try to reminisce the days when we were inseparable… the times when we would just pig out and not think about the calories and weight were going to gain… the times when we used to drink early in the afternoon but still attend our classes, the times when we pass by cho-paeng or big mac after a nights gimmick… the night when we prepare food for someones’s bday party, the times when we have lots of deadlines to meet but still try to catch up stories, moments when we wake someone up just to let our dilemmas and problems out…moments when all we can turn to is each other…

these moments are priceless… you guys can never replace anybody in my life!!! i love you all sooo much… wishing i could just go back in time and stay there for a while…

i miss you terribly! you’re one of a kind! mwah!!!
– Noelle, my bespren (EMO trip nitong isang to, nostalgic)

……………so, bout thiz girl..?! shes so dam cute back in the dayz. npk attractive! ky nga lkz nga ng tm q d2 nun eh <6th grade>……. pero ang taray lolz! but I like her personality though….I’m glad after so many years i still hear from you Anna..
– Lemuel, Grade 6 classmate (may tama ka nga koyah)

ANNNNNNNNNNNAAA!!!!!
HAPPY BDAY DEAR!well,juz saw my account and saw dat its ur day girl!so i thought y not i give u a testimonial noh!hmmmm..dis girl is 1 of the prettiest knockout bombshell of the UPLB humanities steps..guys cant stop liking dis pretty lady..cnt beliv i wud be able to meet dis down to earth girl dat my former blockmate had fallen for..he was damn right to fall for this 1..though i dnt know what happened na to them…eniweiz i wouldnt be surprise if guys would fall in line to know her..coz shes really 1 smart nice girl…wats up with u n kya..eniweiz goodluck to u and hopefully ud always tke good care of my sweet Nheng sistah of UP Socius!and super duper kwela kada SUGAR!miss seeing u guys!tc..mwahhhhh!
– Aivic, college friend (Anu daw sabi nya???)

luv this gal so much! isa sa mga pinakatotoong taong nakilala ko! pinakaliberal! He! He! kiddin! And no matter what envious people say about her, I don’t care! You people eat her dust! He! He! Luv you kukz! Miss you din! Tnx!
– Mabel, HS friend (Tsk.. year 2005 pa tong testi na to liberal na pagkakakilala mo sa kin? Tsuk!)

beautiful girl pero ” ABNORMAL 4 LIFE!!! ” hehe miss yah girl!! see you
soon!! tc always! ayt?
– Abooh, errrr… ano ba tawag sa kanya? Suitor? Patweetums? E basta ganun..

c anna cecilia, blockmate ko, mas bata saken pero mas mature (nga ba? hehe) luv ko to, Ewan ko ba kung bakit, nung una kong makita to parang suplada xa, aba tama nga ako! Suplada xa! hehe joke! di to suplada, sobrang suplada lang! hayup sa sexy to at maganda pa, kaya naman maraming baliw na baliw sa kanya! xa ang tunay na B-O-O-B-A! pramish! mishu! mwah! nasabi ko bang booba xa! ay oo nga! nasabi ko na! booba xa! hahaha!
– Elaine, college blocmate (Sya ang tunay na BOOBA!)

nakaktuwa ang girl na ito… di ko akalaing makakausap ko pla ito, kungdi dahil kay noelle hindi ko sha makakasama sa ibang lakad sa elbi. mabait pala ito. masayang kasama. mejo kupal (?) hehehe.. peace tayu!!!! tingnan nyo ang pix nyan. jan nyo sha makikilala! Nyahaha!!! ooops, pwera reject bwehehe….
– Janice, college friend (pinakaBOOBA sa lahat ng BOOBA!)

anna…naku ha yang pangalan na yan kinakatakutan ng lahat..mataray kasi ang dating,but mabait nmn cia pgtulog..cia ung cook sa bhay..sorang kalog din nito,matatawa ka tlga pgngpatawa yan..lalo na pagsumsayw yan ng mga kagaguhan,minsan kase nala2gas ung mga turnilyo nian sa ulo.wla kming ginawa kundi 2mawa ng 2mawa at mg isip ng mg isip ng kakainin,malakas kasi kumain to kakaingit kasi hindi 2mtaba khit lamon ang ginagawa,laging gutom,sexy naman..mga boys taken na po ito ha…hehe
– Joan, my cousin (taken?? Sino?? Dati yun, din a ngayon.. hmmmp!)

ASSTEEEG! grabe ang pix pamatay! well seriously speaking ndi ko pagpapalit tong Chupangga na friend kong ito with or without her nails friends pa rin kami… biruin mo ilang tao na lang yata sa mundo ang katulad niya (na lokaloka?) noh! i mean katulad niya na TOTOO SA SARILI nya! you know anna, walang SECRETS yan kumbaga shes not afraid to tell you all about herself… SHES a great PERSON! Bilib ako kay anna marunong MAGDALA hehehe… Bsta anna walang kiyeme laban kung laban… She knows how to have a good time! BASTA ANNA IS THE BEST! kung may plastic man baka kau un… si anna PLASTIC? HELLER!!! Basta anna DONT CHANGE kahit iba ang ways mo sau pa rin ako! sabi nga “YOU LAUGH BECAUSE IM DIFFERENT, I LAUGH BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL THE SAME” anna GOODLUCK although kakaiba ka SALUDO AKO SAU! hehehe :-p
– Hermo, HS friend (isa pang adik to.. di ko alam kung pinupuri ba ko o sinisiraan. Wahaha!)

taena yang primary pic na yan! heheheheeh.u never fauil to make me laugh my heart out.. miss you ‘tol..all your antics, stupidness, and indirect sweetness.i have been looking for u in each and every person i meet.hehehehe
– Che, my bespren (EMOTERA!)

si anna she’s cool, smart, kakulitan ni cien and computer freak… cute yan pag  nakikita kong iniirapan niya si cien (hehehe singit kasi eyes niya) future chef ng mga mangilin (siya nagluluto kasi bc si ruby) at taga kain niya si cien at siya rin ang unang bubula ang bibig pagnagkataon…joke.. im looking forward to hang out with you guys…take care pow…
– Blaunch, my tito’s GF POW hahaha

Sino kamo? Anna Cecilia Mangilin? Hahaha…. Mas kilala bilang ANNAKEL… isa yan sa bestest friend ko way back in high school and hanggang ngyon nmn, un nga lng d na kmi masyadong nagkikita and magkausap, kaya nga miss ko na yan sobra… wahahaha… wala kming lam gawin nyan nung high school kungdi maghanap ng cute na guys and manlait.. lakas ng mag imfluence yan.. biruin mo, e2ng tino ko na ito,
nahawa ako sa knya.. hahahaha!!!! Pro, serious na!!! Yang si anna, sobrang bait yan kya nga miss ko na yan, khit gago yan, sobrang ginintuan puso nyan, bsta my  problema ka anjan sya 4 u, khit na mas matanda ako jan… nauna kcng mag mature
kysa s akin.. hehehe… baby pa kc ako!!! Wahehehe!!! E2 ang malufet!!! Bsta yang c anna, hilig nyan mangkutkot ng kuko, kung gano ka upod ang kuko nyan, kabaliktaran nmn ng ugali nya, super flexible kc yan, khit cnong ksama nyan ok pa rin yan… hahaha.. parang wlang sense mga sinasabi ko ha!!! Lasing ba ko? Bsta c anna, ANGEL ko yan.. promis
– Jillian, HS friend (Sya kaya yung mahilig mamboys, dinadamay pa ko sa kalokohan nya!)

c annacel, miss ko na toh, tagal na kasi alang gimik tapos grad na xa…. kakamiss kakulitan nya, lalo na pag may topak.. joke lang po… napakadaling kausap nan, lalo na sa mga lakad… saka basta, astig si anna, kaso pinasasali namin ng beauty contest ayaw.. hehe, basta masasbi ko lang sa kanya eh, shes a friend i wont forget kahit na di na kami nagkikita… hmm… c anna?… ano ba masasabi ko sa girl na toh.. well, una sis ko siya… but beside that she epitomizes the word “astig”.. hehe.. kalog siaya
kasama at hindi ka mababato.. ska may sense pag nagsalita.. hehe.. seriously, mabait si anna(un e sa pagkakakilala ko lang)… nakaka miss na din toh, matagal ng alang gimik
eh.. anyweiz keep it real, always..
– Notty, org brod (Anong REAL ba kamo? Tunay to brod! Hahaha!)

annaganda…lokaloka tong babaeng to e. eto ang totoong sexy…sana mamigay ka ng..alam mo na!hehe.I never thought na magiging close kami.ang suplada
kasi e.but when i got to know her she’s such a nice person with a big heart. She’s very generous with whatever she has.anna, you’ve been a good friend to me.honey, i hope we’ll always keep in touch.Good luck satin in the real world. I know that whatever you do you’ll make it to the top. magaling ka eh!(on time pa rin kahit puro gimik!hehe)
– Ida, college friend/ex-gf ng cousin ko/gimmick buddy (kitam sabi sa inyo mabait na estudyante ako e)

banana!e2 ay isa sa mga pinakloka2ng tao na nakilala ko.she can do away with her antics and faster than the speeding bullet na pag-uutak!ambilis ng pick up! hehe at sbrnag bilis sa kalokohan.ewan ko ba, 1st day i saw hre, cnbi ko sa srili ko, “ambait naman nya!ang hinhin pa!”hehe pro ng mkilala ko, jusme!hehe kidding asyd, anna is a loving person, giving at totoo!hehe pag ayaw nya ayaw nya.she almost have everything a typical woman can ask for, money, clothes, shoes, bags, pro she is MORE THAN THAT (ayan, tandaan mo)she can take you away wd her jokes but she is, in reality, a woman of substance..dti ko lagi kong iniicp kung cnong mgging bf n2, ayun, katambay ko lang pla!hehe seriously, i am happy that she is happy now.miss na kita!kht lagi tyong mgkatxt (pra ko ciang syota!hehe.gudlak sa lyf, i seldom say i lover her, pero i do.i will always do…
– Che, my bespren (wala ngang boypren.. kulet.. hehehe.. this testi’s dated 6.16.2004)

hayy nako!!! yan si anna BALIW YAN!!! bwahahaha… kala mo suplada sa unang
tingin… kala mo mangangain ng tao sa tingin nya… nako tama ka KUPAL yan e…heheheh pro kung naging kaclose mo tawa ka lng ng tawa sa mga kagaguhan nya…last tym gumimik kmi sa timog… what do you expect edi may kinupal nanaman cya pinasubo pa nya si noelle..hehehehe medyo matagal na nga na hindi kmi nagkita nyan kya lng ganon parin cya walang nagbago….oooopss meron pla may steady na cyang BF si jay,pro d ko cya msyadong kilala, dati kc kawawa lahat ng mga manliligaw nyan…. LHAT meaning maraming maraming manliligaw..ganda kasi e…yyyessss!!! anna wag lumaki ulo ha? heheheh… oist mis ko na kapraningan mo…pati lahat ng gogolosh….la lng yngat nlng….
– Gny, my bespren (ulol ka!)

I remember the first time na naging student kita, you came across as mataray…pero may sweet side ka nga na lumalabas din. Thanks talaga. Congrats again at graduate ka na! Go for whatever dreams you have…this is your chance na. Ingat u and God bless you, sexy gal!
– Maris, college professor

anna ba kamo??! nyeta..dati d ka “matitinag” sa pa-demure effect nyan e..pero look at her now..wheeeeew!!! MALUPIIIT!!!(tssss!!!taas ang kamay ko sau bruha ka..suko na
po..grabe..matindi to e!!!LoLZZ!!)C selya naturingang pinakabata sa barkada pero..walang kasing GULANG yan!;)Selya mayb f so many things minsan..pero sobrang totoong tao 2..and we luv her so much 4 dt.From her not so boyish get-up nung h.s..ngaun she’s nw a bomb! (sexbomb!hehehe!) guyz,beware..makamandag ituu!dammit..b4 u knw it..she oredi turnd ur world upside-down!wla..iba 2!ol praises tlg ko sa b2e na to..total knock-out kc!! nyahahahaha!wuvzyu so much gurl..no matr wat m jz here..wil owez b here 4u.and we mizd u sooo much!!lam m yn. nyweiz..ds gurl deserves so much happiness & luck..selya may look so mataray..prangka..&ol dt stuff..but peeepz..she’s simply d best!!Mahal n mahl ng brkada yn. Stay cool gurl & hope ta c u soon!!mwah!mwah!!!
– Kris, HS friend (hahaha.. Selya talaga noh???)

kung ako ay da best when it comes to notes, c anna, da best naman to na groupm8, this is not a joke or reverse, totoo to noh! ciempre, ever ready lagi ang laptop nia, tska sa printing, mnsan cia na din ang bhala don, oh db, ang yaman nia noh?! c anna, intrigera yang babae na yan! grabe, mamimis ko ang kakulitan mo sa class pati na rin sa reportings.
– Ann Kristine, Socio classmate (napakasipag kase magnotes kaya nanghihiram na lang ako sa kanya

waaahhh!!!! anna magpakita ka na samin. mis na mis ka namin!!! bwisit ka! umalis pa kasi! anyways, masaya ako kasi naging frend kita and till now frends pa rin. anna’s one of those people na hindi mahirap pakisamahan. sya ung frend na kahit antagal nyo ng hindi nagkita, pag nagkita kayo ulit andun pa rin yung spark. prang walang nagbago. malamang! mahirap na baguhin tong taong to e. yung ugali nyan noon, ugali pa rin nya ngaun. walang halong kplastikan. mdyo naging gerrl nga lang. hehehe.. anna can be as sweet as an angel pro pag nbwisit, naku! ingat ka. bigla ka kakalmutin ng kanyang precious na mga kuko. hehehe…wub u!!
– Maui, HS friend (Sya na ngayon ang di nagpapakita sa barkada)

hmmm…c anna yung isa sa mga blocmates ko na naging ka-close ko agad…cguro dahil pareho kaming mukhang mataray…hehe…mukhang tahimik pero maraming alam na kalokohan yan!!!hehe…pero mabait yan kc pinagdadala ako nyan dati nung cake na galing nueva ecija (ang sarap nun ha!!)…habulin yan, ang dameng nagtatanong sken ng pangalan at cel number nyan dati eh!eh kc naman maganda at sexy (ehemm…)!congrats! sana wag mo ko kalimutan pag grad natin ha…
– Carleen, college blocmate (Wag nyo ko hingan ng cake.. wahahaha!)

ei!balita ko, on time ka daw graduate??? whoah! kakabilib! ikaw ba yun??? joke lang! well, I remember her as a…yeah! “kupal” neophyte… mukha lang! but once you got to know her, she’s beautiful inside and out! mis you!
– Pen, org sis (kaaway ko to dati, nung finals ko sa org pinagpraktisan nya ko ng taekwondo, seryoso. Gulpiiiiii!!!! Pero ngayon close na kame)

si anna cecilia mangilin? kilala ko ba to? hehehe. joke lang po. una pa lang, mukha na talaga siyang mataray and when you get to know her…you’ll say, “tama! mataray nga!” hehehe. nakakatakot kasi she speaks her mind. Astig kumbaga. pero mabait naman. friendly, palabati at palabiro. di nag- aaral (?) pero pasado. kumbaga, gifted child ang lola mo… ano pa ba? magaling pumorma. di ko nga lang keri ang mga suot niya. di kaya ng powers ko. nway, sa tingin ko, she’s a good friend. mukha ring may passion siya for life ( and everything that comes with it ba?). in a word, cool si anna at mega thankful ako na nameet ko siya…isa sa mga di ko makakalimutan sa unang sem ko dito sa LB. go girl! smile lang palagi…
– Kathrine, college professor (ka-fesbuk chikahan ko ngayon, isa pang adik hehe)

hehehehe… anna? hehehehe. ulit.joke lang. cia ang fashionista sa upne. taga ic’s yan. kung gusto mo ng kainuman punta ka lang dun hanapin mo cia.. cgurado nandun lang yan. hehe. pinakamakulit na sis… pero maganda daw at seksi pa cia. thumbs up!!!!
– Mendell, org brod

hi, ako si bambam. ex-sis ko si selya..wehehe. nweiz, takot ako sa kanya nung HS. feeling ko ang taray taray (kinda intimidating, yihee), di ako pinapansin..huhu.. but
still i hear from other pips na mabait daw ‘to, madaldal.. siguro nasa loob lang ang kulo..pano ba yan, sis mo ate ko, friend mo si sister kris, when will we become sisses again?! naks! jokejokejoke! mwaaah!! tc!
– Cristina, ex ng kapatid kong bunso (class valedictorian, muse, etc etc.. tao kaya sya???? Hehehe)

c anna…1st saw her on r math class…taray queen…snobbish…pero cnt stop looking at her eh(bakit kaya?) dati un! but wen i knew her…i was wrong…singkit lang kasi xa eh…very nice…fun to talk with…one true gimikera! haha! tc anna!
– Eli, college friend at… wala

c anna? grad on tym?!!! siyet, d ako makapaniwaLa!!! peace!!! honestLy, napabiLib nya ako… pano ba nmn, ang daLas ko makita sa Lansangan tapos… my gosh!!! hehehe… bsta, dami nangyari sa kanya na d ko akaLain na magagawa nya…=> kaya taas kamay ako jan!!! kita nmn sa itsura na mataray at k_p_L pro nakita ko na sya umiyak kaya d ko aLam kung matatawa ako o ano kse d ko maimagine na c aNNa, marunong paLa umiyak… oist, anna…ingatz Lagi ha!!!!mwaaah!!!
– Rina, org sis (oha on time ako graduate! )

hay nako!!! yang sis ko na yan e pagkagulugulo!! hehe.. mahkuhlet. magimik, hmmm. tama ba ko hehehe.. neighbor ko yan. kaya pala laging maingay sa likod ng apartment namin. hehehe..
– May, org sis (Sya yung magulo pramis, di ako )

bebeh as we often call her is a very loving friend! [naks! tol, kaya ko 'to sinasabi for publicity purposes!]pero honestly, si anna yung kind ng friend na very protective. ayaw nya na nakikitang malungkot yung mga tao sa paligid nya. minsan deadma yan sa mga issues na sinasabi mo sa kanya pero hintayin mong malasing at yun… you’ll hear things na you never expect na sasabihin nya. gusto nya lagi masaya, she is one of my friend na i need not to tell her what i feel pero she can read my mind. hindi ko nga alam kung advantage ba yung pagiging close sa kanya kasi kupal yan at all times! asahan mong hihirit ng mga bagay na minsan foul na! pero since sanay nako sa kanya, ayos lang… nakakatakot yan pagseryoso yung mood, hindi mo talaga maabot yung lalim ng sinasabi. one of the most patient friend na nakilala ko,never kaming nag-away over something. ako lang lagi ang matampuhin especially pag masyado akong natatamaan sa mga hirit nya! she’s fun to be with. lately, ayaw nya na yung masyadong gimikerang lifestyle, mas gusto na nya sa bahay at siguro alam nyo na ang dahilan… “love touches the soul, covering our fears and lightens our burden, yet so difficult to notice…love makes our heart beat even when you breathe no more…” sobrang pambobola na ito! miss pa rin kita beh and ung mga kakulitan natin noon! luv yah! =)
– Amae, my bespren (testi dated 11.19.2003)

si annakel?! tagal na naming hindi nagkikita, as in! di ko na maalala kung kelan ung last time… but of course, hindi ko makakalimutan yan.. tama nga ung description nya with herself, snobbish ang dating.. taray yan! hehehe.. pero once you get to know her, at kung vibes kau, ang saya! puro kalokohan… lalo na kung may pinagtitripan.. hehehe… but what i really admire about anna is her being a very true person, walang kaplastikan.. kaya if you are friends with her, u sure are a very lucky person coz u got a real friend..
– Cherisse, HS friend

most of her friends from NE call her ANNACEL, but now she is also known as banana, booba, or simply anna. she is the type of person to be with kapg super bored ka na! besides from being my blocmate, housemate, barkada… i used to refer to her as my soulmate! she rarely talks about the complexity of life… bawal sa kanya ang mga
serious topics… sa aming magbabarkada si anna ang hindi mo talaga makakausap ng matino pagdating sa mga malalalim na bagay… yun ay kung wala siya sa mood mag bigay ng payo…which is 80% ng kanyang araw-araw na pamumuhay! BUT once she starts talking about it and once you ask her help, her idea and advices are the best and then you’ll realize “how come i never thought about that before?” she can go to extremes from the craziest ideas to the most serious advices! here is where her creativity, sobrang simple lang ng taong ito…kahit na sa dami ng pera hindi niya na alam kung saan niya ilalagay she is still a very down-to-earth person. she also knows how to balance her studies, love life and social life.
– Noelle, my bespren (wag kayo maniwala sa kanya, wala ako pera.. regaluhan nyo ko bags and shoes hehhe)

actually di ko alam kung girl sya or boy….hehe..kung pumorma girl…pagkumilos and magisip..guy…strong yan.matapang..and a fighter..nung applicant yan marami yang kalaban pero she didnt quit…cool sya…so if youre looking for a person who can take every hardships this world has to offer..meet annacel(by the way dislocated balakang nya…)
– Jeff, org brod (dislocated talaga, gusto nyo icheck? hehehe..)

Ayoko na! Ang haba na nito. Pagod na ko magbasa. Antok na din ako, it’s 3Am and I’m still up.

Yan, ginawa ko lang back up etong blog ko just in case magsara ang Friendster anytime, ma-save ko man lang ang precious lines na itech.

There I was, sitting near our family’s mausoleum while having a chitchat with my folks when suddenly, I heard somebody spoke vehemently, “Ayun oh, mag-bless ka kay Tita/Ninang” (since nobody in my age bracket was there, I supposed it was me she was referring to as Tita/Ninang) Seconds later, I saw a kid came up to me and kissed me on my cheek. It was my goddaughter, Ali. Her Mom is my cousin/childhood friend way back in the province. We almost grew up together, went to the same nursery school, attended kiddie parties together and had our first crush almost at the same time.

Now that we are 25, she already has a 6-year old daughter (Ali) and last thing I heard she’s four months pregnant with her second child. See how time flies so fast. Most friends/relatives of us this age are either married or already separated but still bonded by law. A lot of them have 2-3 kids already.. while I am yet to conceive my first.

Instances like these make me wonder: Am I really getting old? Or were their lives too fast paced they even forgot how to grow up the right way?

Finally, I have come to think of some things that would confirm that I am, indeed, getting old. (Still, I’d like to believe that I am approaching maturity – not really getting old )

1. Flirting vs. Searching/Waiting for THE ONE. I must admit, it’s sooooo lonely being single for a long time; depressing to continuously hope that whoever is with you will last a lifetime; disheartening to convince yourself to patiently wait for someone to love.. While some people continuously feed me with hopes, my heart (even my mind) is starting to give up. Everytime I meet someone (and I begin to like him) but something exhibits boo-boo, I would step back. I won’t push it anymore. I still remember how I made the most of my college life, boys are everywhere, suitors are lining up, prospects are easy to find.. now that I am in my mid-20s, I already find it absurd to “flirt” anymore. It’s tempting, really. But at the end of the day, I realize that hey I’m not looking for a “playmate” nor the typical “MU” back when we were young.. I want the next one to be my last and forever (Who doesn’t want that?). Why would I waste my time for nothing? Like what I have read somewhere “I like dead ends. At least they have the decency to let you know that you’re going nowhere.” And mere flirting won’t give me that. Well, I believe so.

2. Jaded. In line with my #1 in the list, being jaded in love and relationships is another sign of aging/maturity. At least for me. Being young I guess gives us the license to be susceptible and naïve. But when you get older, don’t you think it is but inappropriate to just believe in whatever it is that is thrown at you? We must think all the time. But I guess it is not “thinking” that I am doing anymore – it’s overanalyzing things. Haha! Hence, being jaded. After all the heartaches in the past, I learned to be careful with my actions and my response to sweet nothings. It is hard to trust people anymore. Trust is a precious thing to be given easily. I always think twice before giving it away. Ending: refer to #1 – LONELINESS IS A MURDERER

3. Being Tactful. If you know me as someone who’s straightforward and someone who speaks her mind.. for your information, I am already tactful nowadays. Well, compared with my old self, someone who reveals everything about her life, someone who doesn’t know how to keep secrets. I realized that my own tongue shall slash me had I not known the value of being discreet. I almost killed myself before because of this bad (some people consider this as a good quality though) trait.

4. Unwanted “Respect”. When I was in college, I was the youngest in our barkada (I was a year advanced in school.. yes bright! ) so they call me “bebe” (well, until now, my supahfriends call me bebe). After graduating from college, I got my first job in the corporate world and I was the youngest in that firm. They pampered me, took care of me and all. I looked up to them and regarded what they were doing as my guide at work. Now, I can’t believe that most employees in the company call me “Miss” even those who have the same level as mine. Outside of work, I am often annoyed that a lot of people call me “Ate”. Tsk.. even those drivers who used to call me “Miss” and “Ma’am” (while I call them “Kuya” or “Manong”) now call me “Ate”. Tsk.

5. Baby Girl. I went to the province recently coz my Uncle (my Dad’s brother) went home from the States. Sure, I was their favorite niece (maybe because I am my Dad’s carbon copy) but that doesn’t mean they are my favorite relatives, too. Hekhek! Kidding. When I was young, they used to carry me and shower me with kisses. I would always sit on their lap whenever they would ask me to. Recently, I was talking to my cousin when suddenly I felt a pair of arms wrapping around my waist, giving me a tight embrace and kissed me on my cheeks. It was my Uncle. I felt awkward. And I told them I am no longer their baby. I almost heard myself saying “ewwww” Hahaha!

6. Night Out. Believe it or not, I do not enjoy gimmicks nowadays as much as I did when I was in college. Even my bellies and my purse will agree with me. You may often see my pictures in bars and parties, but believe me, they are all out of “pakikisama” to my friends and colleagues. Also, I enjoy their company and events.. not the beer ANYMORE. Apart from those, it is a means to expand my network, which is advantageous for my line of work and sidelines. But for my night out with my bestfriends, we usually opt for dinner in a cozy restaurant, a movie date, or coffee date. Sometimes if our system needs alcohol we take cocktails and the likes.. plus Acoustic Music. BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

I am not yet done with my list but my eyes are getting drowsy. It’s only 1AM yet I am sleepy… I am used to sleeping at 3-5AM during holidays..

ANOTHER SIGN OF GETTING OLD. Tsktsk.

My head’s bloated and has a lot of thoughts inside. I need to burst. Or simply hold back — and die from heart attack.

However, I’m trying my best to lessen my time browsing/updating status via Facebook (my number of contacts has been continuously increasing, I’d still want to keep a little privacy — believe it or NOT, I’m a private person.. *coughing* ) .. and so..

I decided to TWEET.

I cannot put that widget here since my tweets are private (Pero ang totoo ayoko lang masyado na magFacebook dahil dumadami kapamilya ko dun wahahahah!). But if you guys wanna make chika with me, follow me on Twitter (username: eysilicious).

Give me yours, too. Magtweetan tayo!

_________________________________________

PS: Napapakanta talaga ako ng cheesy love songs… Hmmm.. Ang sarap pala ng feeling makinig ng love songs na upbeat, ngayon ko lang narealize eh. Kinikilig ako. Wala naman kinakakiligan kundi yung song.

While I’m writing this entry, I’m trying to hold my tears.. perhaps, due to exhaustion, fear of the unknown, being emotional about my family and all those overwhelming experiences that Ondoy has given me and a lot of Filipinos.

The other side of Pasig, taken by a friend.

The other side of Pasig, taken by a friend.

Pic taken by another friend in Pasig.

I must admit, my experience with Ondoy was nothing compared with what I have experienced 19 years ago when I was just a 6-year old kid, when an earthquake hit the country and devastated Baguio City and my hometown Nueva Ecija, I was there.. seeing a lot of establishments falling apart and people dying.. too morbid for my young mind at the time.

But this Ondoy thingie had a domino effect on most people, including me and my family. Until now it’s hard for me to grasp everything that life has been giving me.

Taken by another friend, Thea.

On a lighter note, it has been a continuous learning experience for me. When Ondoy hit Metro Manila, I was out of our house and on my way to Makati because we had a company outing, one of our Managers was about to leave as he was transferred to our Singapore headquarters. I was out.. in danger, tired, bruised.. and fighting alone. From that day on, a lot of things happened that tried to pull me down.. awakened me, tested my faith and attempted to destroy my sanity.

I’ve been trying to keep my composure, still reporting to work and never missed a chance to be productive. It’s just that sometimes I get too emotional everytime I think of my family, especially my Mom who was trapped for a few days inside our Pasig home. I had to endure several days of thinking hard about her condition… even when I am at work. I almost lost focus.

One of the changes that I had to suffer from was being a “palaboy”, I had to ask for help from my friends to give me temporary shelter as I had a hard time going home to our Pasig home. Good thing I have a lot of friends who have been helping me out.

A lot of adjustments had to be made.. by me. I learned to do things on my own including washing and pressing my own clothes, preparing my own food and paying for everything that I needed. Something that I haven’t practiced for a long time since I started living again with my family and helpers.. I am no longer used to taking care of my self and my needs. But now I need to stand on my own. My pocket is empty, my credit cards are worn out, my savings account have been busted. Emergency shopping had to be done, for me to at least have something decent to wear during those times that I can no longer get home.

It’s been almost three weeks and I still haven’t gone home to Pasig. I tried once but I just ended up tired and sick.. with lots of mosquito bites all over my body. I went there a few days ago, water’s still high even an SUV that we used cannot pass by our barangay, I had to ride an improvised raft for me to visit our house. And I was wearing a dress then.. I looked like a beauty queen slash Reyna Elena on a “karosa”

I decided to get a place since I am working everyday and I cannot stand living in Pasig anymore. It became of of the filthiest cities in Metro Manila. Palengkes have been sprouting everywhere, even at the entrance of a small village where I live.

Pasig (Palatiw) at present. Taken by me, while riding a kariton. In my 5 years in Pasig, ngayon lang bumaha dito.

Sad thing about this is that.. my Mom didn’t want to move out. She just loves our house that she’d rather stay there and endure the condition of our village. Because that is her home, and she wants the comfort of being in your own territory. A week after Ondoy, she went home to our province but that didn’t make her feel better either. Typhoon Pepeng also hit our province in the North. So my Mom went back here in Metro Manila. Do we still have a safe place here in the country? I can no longer see the clouds of hope.

Another thing that made me sad is the departure of Yaya Kagandahan. As you all know, she is one hard-headed young lady.. she did something that my Mom didn’t like. Part of Ondoy’s wrath. She was scolded and the next day, she was gone. So, from now on.. you will no longer see Kagandahan Series here.

Now my Mom is at home in Pasig with nobody (good thing, an Uncle is always there checking on her/house). You know, it hurts that I really want to be a good daughter now. I want to be by her side, I want to accompany her. I want her to spend her last 3months here in the country with me.. she’s set to go back to Japan in January. I’m sad.. really..

It’s just that I have a work and staying in Pasig is draining.. physically, emotionally, etc. I must admit, we became temperamental after the calamity, something that resulted to series of misunderstandings and fights with my siblings and my Mom. It’s really hard when you are the only one left to take care of the family. My siblings have their own lives now and I am always tasked to do things for all of us. I feel so alone and tired.

After a series of “paglalaboy” (having been living with my sister, my friends, etc.. kung saan ako abutan ng gabi pagkatapos ng maghapong pag-aayos ng mga bagay-bagay, dun ako matutulog. I always have my backpack with me.) I decided to get a place to be my temporary home until the water in Pasig subsides. My bank account is already crying.. But I have no choice, I needed this so I can rest and be productive at work. I’m torn.. I miss my Mom and her futile attempts in cooking.. her being makulit.. I miss home.. I miss my bed, my pillows.. the broadband.. the movie marathon.. I am just praying that everything will be back to normal soon.

View from the place where I currently live. That building is where I work. Convenient, isn't it? But sad.

View of the pad from where I work.

Kung pwede ko lang higupin lahat ng tubig at putik sa Pasig ginawa ko na, so I can go home and be with my Mom.