IDOL
Posted by AC on Sunday Jan 17, 2010 Under Family Girl, I Think, Love and Relationships, Reflections
Just got home from a “date” with my “sister-out-law” and my bestfriend. That sister-out-law is the ex-girlfriend of my brother. They were together for 7 years and I can say that she’s like a real sister to me. She was already there when I was just a teenage girl who has just started to feel infatuated yet hasn’t reached maturity yet.
In that 7 long years that she and my brother were together, she has already met a couple of my guys, most of whom she has already bonded with. For a time I envy her for having my brother around — someone who treats her like a princess and starts to plan/dream about their future together. It was such a mixture of melancholy and joy whenever I see them together, all the more whenever I get to be the 3rd wheel during their date. I was happy because I know that my brother is in good hands, and I can see that he is really happy. I was sad at the same time because I have long been wanting to be in that girl’s shoes — that is to be loved by that kind of man.
They already saw me both at my happiest spirit and at my weakest. They were even bothered by my relationship status and how men treat me. I can still remember what she sent me on my birthday last year “Happy Birthday, Ate Anna! Ang wish ko sayo sana makatagpo ka na ng lalakeng deserve mo at magmamahal sayo ng totoo.” That made me cry not because I was desperate to get a man, but because I saw the sincerity in her.. that she loves me and cares for me.
A few months ago they already told our parents of their plans of getting married. However, they are still not financially stable as my brother has yet to complete his flying course. Also, my sister is about to get married in church, too (something that hasn’t pushed through yet coz she got pregnant again). Again, it was both exciting and depressing for me at the same time. I was about to lose hope that I’d meet the man who will treat me right. I know my brother and the girl have already made up their mind.. that they would grow old together…
Until last month when I learned that they broke up because of a third party. My brother met again his one great love (yeah, that’s what he calls the other girl), his ex-girlfriend.. the one who got away when they were in High School. That’s when I realized that being together for a long time doesn’t give you the license to be confident. It was such a heartbreaking story coz I realized that sister-out-law was the reason why my brother and the other girl found each other again. It was like suicide. Even my family got hurt by what happened. Even our family’s relationship with her family was affected. Apart from being my brother’s girlfriend, she is a family friend.
For a time after their break up I became the shoulder to cry on. Honestly, I still want them to get back in each other’s arms. However, I cannot do anything about it, it’s my brother’s life and I have no right to impose anything. I am just here to lend my ears. I was thinking objectively — I didn’t tell her to hold on and wait for my brother’s return. I didn’t ever wanna give her false hopes that he’ll be back. All I wanted to do is listen. I can still remember the first time she called me up after the break up, as she was crying I kinda felt that my own heart was breaking as well. I love her and it’s painful to see her that way.
After a few weeks of mourning, I can now see her development. She is now beginning to enjoy knowing and loving herself more. I am even amazed at how fast she recovers. I know she is not being pretentious. I saw the genuine smile on her face when we met this evening. Over dinner she told me her “adventures”, even those men who are courting her. I must admit, there’s still this little pinch in my heart everytime I think that she will never be my sister anymore. That she may find another love again in the future, that she will never be my brother’s wife. But I know in my heart she is a real sister.. beyond her relationship with my brother.
She often tells me how I inspire her. She even calls me “IDOL” because she sees me as a woman of strength. Like I said, she witnessed how I got through those painful events in my life. Those that almost literally took my life. She looks up to me as someone who sees blessing in every heartache. In fact when I got home a while ago she sent me an SMS that says “Thanks. Luv u Idol!” 
Well, I just told her that someday she will see everything as a blessing in disguise. Now that I am already happy and showered by love, I still want her to look at me as an inspiration.. that eventually she will fall in love again.. and everything will turn out to be better than what she is hoping for.
January 18th, 2010 at 3:58 PM
grabe naiiyak ako sa nanyari sa naunsyami mong sister-out-law grabe, 7 years tapos nakita si ex na HS eh nagbreak na sila? tapos, papakasal na lang. Anak ng!. grabe.. ayoko sisihin ang bro ko, pero I think it’s not right. How sure xa na ang ex nya ay yun na talaga dba? . ang hirap talaga ispelingin ang mga boys. hai..
January 18th, 2010 at 3:59 PM
bro mo.. di pala bro ko. nu ba yun?
January 18th, 2010 at 4:37 PM
@walongbote: onga eh. actually buong pamilya pati extended sobrang lungkot sa nangyari. pero ganun talaga, hindi lahat ng bagay nakukuha sa pilitan. sana lang hindi nila pagsisihan ang mga desisyon nila at sana maging masaya sila sa kanya-kanya nilang buhay.
January 18th, 2010 at 8:59 PM
hay.. I hate stories like this… pero sabi mo nga… do not hurry it… but sometimes I think I’m a big mess, I push everyone away, even the one who I think I’m beginning to really like.. I always end up pushing it away… kainis! alam mo yung feeling na minsan maiisip mo, sayang! baket pa tinulak ko pa palayo, baka sya na yun.. hahahahaha maglabas ba ng sama ng loob.. :p but seriously, I also wish I could be you, I wish I could see my heartbreak as a blessing, pero sa tuwing meron darating, takot na lang nararamdaman ko.. oh diba? I’m a mess… can’t seem to trust anyone anymore…
January 18th, 2010 at 9:10 PM
@wends: ganyan talaga. but of course at first i really don’t see heartbreak as a blessing. nangyayari na lang yon pag may magandang lumabas out of it. don’t be too hard on yourself… ienjoy mo lang. you can’t really find happiness if you won’t take the risk. lahat naman ng bagay nakakatakot gawin pero kelangan natin maging matapang.. malay mo nga sya na pala yun, napalampas mo pa. okay lang madapa ng madapa ng ilang ulit, ang importante marunong kang tumayo ulet at matuto sa mga pagkakamali. sabi nga dito sa quote sa blog ko “only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.”
January 18th, 2010 at 9:50 PM
In 1 episode of south park, Stan found his friend Butters, who just had his heart broken, sitting on a rain-soaked curb and in tears.
Butters: “Uh well yeah, I’m sad, but at the same time I am really happy that something could make me feel this sad. It’s like… It makes me feel alive you know? It makes me feel human. The only way I can feel this sad now is I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I’m feeling is like a beautiful sadness.”
January 19th, 2010 at 12:38 AM
hindi ba awkward yung ganun?
ikaw ung kapatid ng ex niya, pero sayo sia iiyak, maglalabas ng kulo. I mean, mahirap ata yun kasi I’m sure you understand your brother rin as to why he did what he did. But your heart also goes to his ex (being a girl, and having experienced the same things)…kahit naging close na kayo, family friend na…i think its tough to be the chosen shoulder to cry on….but i think you did a good job being fair to everyone…
p.s.
for a good 5 minutes, nagka-crush ako sa kanya. hahaha..
January 19th, 2010 at 12:38 AM
may comment moderation na dito?!?! watda?!
January 19th, 2010 at 9:42 AM
it’s sad, but it could have been worse. imagine if it happened when they’re already married. i believe in fate. if they’re really meant for each other, they’ll end up together again. if there’s something that she shouldn’t do is pursue your brother after the breakup. generally, guys don’t like to be pursued.
January 19th, 2010 at 10:39 AM
Ape: e malamang kaya nagkaroon ng moderation kase ibang name nilagay mo. di ka nya nakilala. hehehe. anyway, yung pagiging family friends kase namin even before pa maging sila magkaibigan na talaga pamilya namin. so affected talaga lahat.
plaridel: she doesn’t pursue naman my brother. and she looks really fine when i saw her. and that’s what i learned too, that men don’t want to be pursued. hehehe.
January 21st, 2010 at 8:05 PM
This is really sad. Break-ups are hard. Kalurkee ito AC!
Naku kaya nga ba takot na ko mainlab ulit eh, parang may trauma na ko yata after 3 years of being in a relationship with my so called X-jowa. (bitter) hahaha.
ganyan nga yata talaga ang buhay.
January 22nd, 2010 at 5:55 PM
You may lost everything but not your soul for you will never regain it again.
January 23rd, 2010 at 11:53 AM
hanep !
January 31st, 2010 at 11:15 PM
[...] thing that bothers me is my brother. Just a few days ago I posted a story on his recent break up, the one with my sister-out-law #2. What saddens me is the “breaking [...]
February 2nd, 2010 at 4:59 PM
Hi AC, nakakasad naman ung story na to… 7 years…. wala bang One More Chance jan.. hehe… then ung sister-out-law mo pa yung naging daan para magkita ulit sila? huhuhu…
Pero buti naman at ok na sya ngaun… and you’re always there for her.. hayzzzz…life…LoveLife…
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:05 PM
chel: wala na siguro e ganun talaga ang layp.. some good things never last..